f.o.r.e.v.e.r y.o.u.n.g….

26That’s what girls do, right? Turn 25 for about three years….so I have one more to go. 🙂 For my (second 25th ) birthday this year, here’s 26 things I have learnt over the years…..

  1. Music is great. It speaks the words we can’t. My friend Belz knows my songs, well most of the ones I like so much that she even has my funeral songs.
  2. Nail polish is therapeutic. Especially red. And like my friend Stella says, you end up talking with confidence throwing gestures all over the place so the person you’re talking to notices the colour.
  3. Stay strong. My two friends Hillary and Karugz casually use this phrase sometimes in the silliest situations but it is one of those I constantly tell myself…through whatever, whenever, stay strong. The dust will always settle…and the rain will come and wash it away.
  4. It could have been worse. First time I heard this was from my friend Eva*, she always says to me, ‘it could have been worse jem’….and just like that, each time something terrible happens, I tell myself, I’m still breathing, it could have been worse but it wasn’t.
  5. Hearts don’t break. They crack. I got this from someone’s blog…must have been yours InkyJo. Biologically speaking, if your heart broke, you would die….so if you lived another day, that my dear was a heart-crack.
  6. Friendships are important. Yes, even when they fade, if you can mend them, do so. Leo…I learnt this from my friend Leo. Even when I was going through a phase at a certain point shutting everybody out, she didn’t want to know about my nonsense. Once I bumped into her at the beach and she reached out gave me a tight hug and said, ‘we are friends jem, we need to sit down and talk…whenever you’re ready.’ And we did. But, when people change from what you used to know, sometimes you have to move on, that’s what growing up is about. It happens.
  7. Networks are important. Call me and ask me for a cake person, a PA person, catering services, a plumber, an electrician, a tailor, a cab guy, a boda guy, a braiding lady….etc, I will get you one. And no, I don’t exactly have each of these people on speed dial, but when you have a great network of people, you can call a person, who can call a person who might be able to help & before you know it, problem solved.
  8. Laugh. Not at people but with people. Laugh at yourself, apparently you haven’t fully grown up until you can laugh at yourself, for something you did, a decision you made or whatever that taught you a lesson eventually.
  9. Listen to India Arie…..she has a song for EVERY situation or occasion. No lies.
  10. Countdowns are for ninjas…..here is why; I have counted down to the day I will leave upcountry from the day I got here! At that point I was looking at 700+ days….it gets tiring, it gets annoying, it gets depressing but it keeps you going and gives you something to look forward to. Yes, the contract got extended and I had to start a phase two of my countdown but when I look at how far I have come, Ebenezzar- this far the Lord has brought me, only him.
  11. Family is important. Family is everything. We choose our friends, so whatever way those friendships turn out is pretty much our asking, or maybe not…but not family. God chose our individual families, for reasons best known to him; those people who are permanently linked to us through our lives, because he knew that this journey that he put us on, days would come when we’d need that kind of love….unconditional love, that can only exist where there are blood ties.
  12. Home is where the love is……
  13. It is important to celebrate and acknowledge achievements….someone once said to me that I exaggerate my milestones….and I asked them why they didn’t ‘exaggerate’ theirs; their reply, some things aren’t worth celebrating. So I asked if they would feel the same way if they hadn’t achieved those milestones, and they said they would probably be sad. So much for ‘not worth celebrating.’ So yes, I will keep exaggerating my milestones, birthdays, good grades, opportunities, etc because most, if not all of those seemingly little things are a result of (ONLY) God’s grace…undeserving favour.
  14. If person X treats a waiter, waitress, maid or security guard in a very rude way, run! Those, my dear, are their true colours. It won’t be long before they treat you in the same way.
  15. Real friends show up. The world is busy, everyone is busy….but someone once said to me, if somebody says they are so busy for you, ask them if whatever it is they are doing is profit generating…because busy should equal to business. Of course I had a confused look on at that statement but it got me thinking, sometimes all a friend needs is someone to sit and talk with / to; about whatever. You could be of help, you might not but what matters is that you showed up or that someone showed up for you.
  16. If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will lead you there. Well that isn’t exactly a new line, but it is one of my favorites.
  17. Food is therapeutic….I know coming from me, who’s close to a size 0 that might sound like a lie. But food really is therapeutic,,,,junk too; especially junk. They don’t call it comfort food for nothing.
  18.  This one is for luganda readers only….Gavumenti teja ku tuyamba; nayo yetaaga Yesu agiyambe.
  19. Have a favorite movie….that one movie whose lines you know off heart; you will be amazed at how better you feel each time you watch it on your low days.
  20. Give love. My way of giving love is by buying random presents for those dear to me, when I have the money… There is a lot of joy, inner joy that comes from making those dearest to you smile. Somehow it is well with your heart and soul, and of course it makes you smile as well.
  21. You’re not a tree; if you don’t like where you are in life, move or at least make the effort to move.
  22. After watching that fairytale on tv or something, slap yourself back to life because life has a totally different manual for each individual; and each of us goes through our own version of it, however, exposed to the same conditions.
  23. Smart phones aren’t smart enough to charge themselves or save their battery life…always carry a charger with you….especially if you can’t keep off the phone like me.
  24. You know those disposable plastic forks….yeah buy a pack and carry a fork with you each time you go for a function like a kwanjula where the chances of ‘cutlery depletion’ are possible…I have repeatedly told myself that I would buy a pack and have it in my bag with me, but I never have and more than once I have reached the serving table and asked for a fork and the kind people always tell me, ‘they’re finished..the first people finished them.’…..see how you die in your meal movie? Especially when you’re not sure of how clean your fingers are, chances are you have been greeting people throughout the function…so you end up using a serviette to eat just chapatti and gonja….and we all know how frustrating ‘party-hunger’ is.  🙂
  25. Never ever EVER belittle anyone! God doesn’t make junk and he certainly doesn’t make mistakes. I heard Seanice Kacungira say on the radio the other day, if you’re a boss and you call your employees idiots…..you are an even bigger idiot for hiring them.
  26. And my 26th lesson on my second 25th birthday is something we have all, or just maybe some of us have heard before; if you don’t go after / chase and build your dreams, someone else is going to hire you and pay you to build their dream; i.e. your boss. I am still in the hired and paid category but maybe one day I will be at that point of the life pyramid where I can hire people to build my dream for me. 🙂 Until then, I will keep joining the dots, which by the way you can only join by looking back a bit sometimes; and that’s why I believe somebody lied when they said your past does not define you… our past in a way defines and shapes us, it’s not very wise not to refer to it whenever we need to.

Jokes aside though; Do not ever regret growing older, it’s a privilege many don’t get to have.

 

Happy birthday to me; here’s to a beautiful beginning of the next quarter a century and more.

FOREVER-YOUNG-Bob-Dylan

Jem*

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11 thoughts on “f.o.r.e.v.e.r y.o.u.n.g….

  1. God bless you real good! …I believe in you. Someday, verysoon you will hire people to build your dream ! Remain in his grace. Happy birthday to a woman of great virtue.

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