This is what I think……that we have scars for a reason. To remind us of what happened and more importantly that we survived it. The brain was made in such a way that its sole role is to remember…..this, again, is what I think; so yes, if you have a different opinion, you are in all ways entitled to it.
I will be honest. I’m not one of those people in the forgiving and forgetting business. I forget things, for example, even after staying up all night in high school reading, I forgot half the things I read by lunch time the next day. But what I don’t forget, is where my scars came from.
When the dog eats (well, attempts to eat) my shoes, and gets them torn and all, will I be mad? Yes. Will I want to hit the silliness out of it? Perhaps. And then what? I will realise, it’s done and done and let it go and plan for a new pair and move on. Will I want to hit it every other day it comes near me? No. And to me that is forgiveness.
Am I going to forget the dog messed my shoes????? Of course not! And that way, I will be more careful next time and keep them where it can’t reach them. So each and every time something bad happens to me, I ask God for the grace to forgive and the wisdom to always remember the lesson I’ve learned from the experience; and that, to me, wouldn’t be possible if I forgot whatever happened.
Forgiveness is not about forgetting. It is about letting go of another person’s throat……Forgiveness does not create a relationship. Unless people speak the truth about what they have done and change their mind and behavior, a relationship of trust is not possible. When you forgive someone you certainly release them from judgment, but without true change, no real relationship can be established………Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive. But should they finally confess and repent, you will discover a miracle in your own heart that allows you to reach out and begin to build between you a bridge of reconciliation………Forgiveness does not excuse anything………You may have to declare your forgiveness a hundred times the first day and the second day, but the third day will be less and each day after, until one day you will realize that you have forgiven completely. And then one day you will pray for his wholeness……
― Wm. Paul Young