#ThesisWoes and then musings…

Three weeks ago I started working on my masters research proposal.

The first week I pretty much didn’t do anything because it went by so fast.

In the second week, I tried to get something done though on lazy mode 100! I ended up emailing the draft to my supervisor with some gaps, but hey…drafts aren’t supposed to be complete, no?

He reviewed it and sent it back and that’s when I woke up! Lol. Considering how lazy I was that week, I did put in a lot of effort to get a few paragraphs down and I honestly felt I had written a lot of sense.

Clearly not. The copy he sent back was literally full of red font and crossings. Lol! When I was reading through it, I read it loud in his tone. I think he was not very impressed by it. And he added a note: please send a complete chapter next time.

That’s when I realised I don’t have so much time yet I have to do this, lest my efforts go to waste.

Third week I decided to give it another go….went over the supervisor’s corrections and set a target to submit draft 2 by end of week….which I achieved. Nooooowwwwww……before I hit send on the email I said a short prayer which went something like, ‘please let him find this an improvement from the first submission and may it have nothing wrong with it. Ok it can’t have nothing wrong with it but may it be better. Amen.’ Actually, it was not something like that. It was exactly like that.

LOL.

Five minutes after I sent, I got a reply from him, one eye closed I opened it. To my shock, it had nooooo attachment, but a simple one line telling me to send it to the second supervisor for her review and if there was nothing to comment, I proceed to the next chapters! LOL!!!! MY PRAYER HAD LITERALLY BEEN ANSWERED IN FIVE MINUTES!

Then I started doubting myself. What if he’d just given up on me? Lol. Why didn’t he have any corrections? What if he’s signed me off a lost cause? Maaaaannnnn so many things went through my head.

A few minutes earlier before emailing mine, I had asked a friend of mine, pensioner, 🙂 to help with some stuff that had me confused. And his input had me change like a whole paragraph and rightly so. So believe me when I say I had actually invested in writing sense, real sense this time.

I slapped the doubts out of my head and told myself, yup! I did it. I wrote fine, I did well and my supervisor thought so too. Therefore, he had no further corrections.

This got me thinking about how often we do this to ourselves. Believing that we are worth less. Not worthless but worth less….i.e. worth something but not much. Simply because of a mishap in the past, or our sins or how other people have branded us. Yet in actual sense, we are worth soooooooo much.  In fact toooooooo much….beyond what we can imagine.

There’s no limit or figure to it. But somebody maaannny years ago found us worth dying for, taking our place and paying the price for our sins …and someone, still, found us worth sending his son for…and sacrificing him in our place. THAT right there is my and your true worth! Incomparable.

Happy Easter break! May HE continually rise in us each and every day!

Stay Safe.

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