Last weekend, I was at a family wedding and of course the usual you are next, when is yours jokes and questions were casually flying around. Casually. But I bet you my tiny toe, with such, usually one of the people asking is actually seriously wondering.
I found myself asking one of my older cousins when his was. Actually, I asked him, when am I meeting my sister-in-law? We laughed it off definitely but got to have a mini but very insightful convo about the whole issue.
He said, he still needed to get himself together regarding finances and all, since marriage comes with a lot of responsibility – looking after a wife and future children and the home in general. So he was still trying to find a supplementary source of income that would in a way make him feel safer and more stable.
Now this was a guy’s view. One would think that since the guys have to plan to look after their wives, then the girls should be okay really. Because someone else is ‘working for them.’ Sort of.
I was making a budget for some of my expenses the other day and somehow the money (which by the way, I did not have yet but was simply expecting) got finished. Before I even got it, it was finished. It was all planned for.
This got me thinking, all these expenses were purely for my benefit. Well, in a way. And no, they were not even luxuries. They were actually necessary expenses. If I had had dependants right now, how exactly would I do this? I kept thinking, if on top of this I had to do certain bills and food and other purchases that people depending on me would require, would I be able to? Yes, maybe there would be a hubby in the picture, I’m not entirely #TeamWomenEmancipation…. but I’m #TeamAWomanShouldBeFinanciallyAbleToSupportHerselfAndTheManShouldOnlyBeABonus.
If this had been the current situation, that I actually had dependants right now, I would have to do one of two things…. either forego some of my personal expenses to take care of the needs of my dependants, therefore neglecting some of my own or vice versa and either way that wouldn’t turn out very well.
I’m not saying I’m waiting to become a millionaire (in the world’s strongest currency, not in UGX)…. I’m just saying, I’m simply not financially ready for the responsibility that comes with the role and I still have some unfinished things I would like to close out before I embark on that particular journey.
I’m always overly excited for my friends who’ve reached this point sooner than I have. And I celebrate them and with them because it is a milestone in itself. I love watching the preparations unfold, I like dressing up 🙂 ….And I like to think it’s amazing. I’ve seen some beautiful journeys. And I would definitely want that for myself at a certain time T.
But to answer the casual question…..I will marry when I want I’m ready.